Walk away from the pain….

After reading that twitter won’t do anything to prevent the pain and suffering of an innocent family at the hands of what is supposed to be a world leader, I have finally decided to quit twitter. I’m nearly done with Facebook. Which means that, from an online perspective, there’s not much going on except this medium. And I’m ok with that.

I will use this medium as a way to spread light, love, and positivity, understanding that there is a lot of negative energy out in the world today. I don’t need to bathe in it to know it is out there. I’m confident in the foundations of love and light from which I operate.

For your consideration, a short film about letting go. About how to walk away from resentment and anger. Consider using this wisdom to make the decision to walk away from social media and the cruelty that it inspires.


resonating and vibrating

Every new growth cycle means that there is going to be a dark period. Like it or not, that’s how it goes. Transmuting and changing is painful. A friend of mine used to say “consciousness ain’t for wusses” and this proves true in my life over and over.

Recently I have had to break my association to some folks and organizations who have insisted upon furthering theories of conspiracy that are not grounded in reality and point to horrible, horrible outcomes for people who are most vulnerable. These theories are creating narratives that have no place in society, where our most vulnerable brothers and sisters are being forced to care for and feed us. Most notably, my relatives in Indian country are paying a high price and privileged people are running around spreading stories that are extremely divisive and hurtful.

I like to tell people “I have an inner conspiracy theorist living inside me, but I keep her on a very short chain.” Meaning, I’m not opposed to looking at the world through a different lens. However, I have learned, over time, that going looking for dastardly plots without a proper guide into the darkness leads only to madness, and that madness can overtake your reason in a heartbeat, before you know it.

If you start your journey looking for dastardly plots, odds are high you’re gonna find them, along with a cadre of similarly dastardly beings and energies. Energy flows where attention goes. That’s a universal law. Once you get into that cave, you are going to find yourself quickly bogged down in dank darkness and fear-based energies. Nowhere will feel safe. Everyone will be suspect. And the path to your heart will become choked out by the thorns of fear. I know. I have been there. I have seen what this does to myself, to friends, and to family.

I’m not naive enough to think that dark forces don’t exist. That is true. Spiritually, you can’t have light without dark. Well, I guess you could, but to my mind, humanity is exhausted easily if it’s always in the light. Darkness isn’t necessarily bad in and of itself. I digress.

I know that there are forces which manipulate, obfuscate, tesselate (M.O.T) so that their true intents are not visible to the world.

Our job is to bring light to that manipulation, obfuscation, tessellation that threatens to destroy hope, love, and compassion in our communities.

If we do not go into those caves where conspiratorial theories live with a way-shower, a light-bearer, we will be consumed. Our narratives will be manipulated by those who M.O.T. The narrative you emerge with eventually serves their intended purpose, because it can be so easily destroyed as it was built in fear and darkness.

How do you find a way-shower, a light-bearer, without falling victim to gurus and cult leaders? You have to ask yourself, what is your dominant energy signal? Where is your light? See, the light is not outside of you, but is inside you. Now, this is where it will get trippy for some people – you are NOT inside your body. YOUR BODY IS INSIDE YOU. You are so much more than a 3D being, and the real you reaches into dimensions beyond what you may be able to sense. Your body reaches not only into the heavens, but also deep into the earth, and within those realms is a light that is Divine.

You have a responsibility FROM this Divine light and TO this Divine light. I don’t want to get too prescriptive here about what you should or should not do. We each have to find our way to the light in our unique, sovereign, and power-full way. We must do that in faith, but we must back it up with ‘work’. I cannot do your work, and you cannot do mine, but we CAN commit to laying a good ground upon which ALL our work can be done. Through prayer and meditation, you could potentially commit to grounding grace, humility, peace, love, gratitude, forgiveness into the earth, which is our first healer.

This work prevents the manipulations, obfuscations, and tessellation and allows us to see into the darkness without getting consumed by the darkness.

A more mundane way to describe this protective stance is this way: whenever I am presented with a conspiracy theory, I ask myself, what if 25% of this is true? What is that which I think is most concerning to me? What needs light shone on it? And can I shine that light in a good way, without compromising my commitment to critical thought and balanced narrative?

Another way to look at this is soundly elucidated in this Rudolf Steiner quote:

“We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror of what comes toward us out of the future. We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future. We must look forward with absolute equanimity to everything that may come.”

If you must entertain a conspiracy theory, please do so responsibly. What you resonate and vibrate out into the world matters. You can either bring light to our world, or you can choose to stay steeped in the dark hallways where dastardly plots and their enablers are waiting to consume your soul. Personally, I’m finding I have little appetite for the bearers of conspiracy theory anymore, for they appear to me consumed and I won’t give quarter to that kind of energy.

That said, I hope my words and explanations have helped you look at conspiracy theories in a new light, and perhaps given you some tips on how to maintain your sacred sovereignty if you decide to peek into the dark caverns.

Drink your water. It helps.

What is hidden…

Is coming to light. It is uncomfortable, disconcerting, and difficult, but we are made to hold the truth. We are made to embody goodness. We are created to champion honesty and justice.

That’s how we are created. And the light gets through. The light may come through filtered. But it gets through.

How will you embody that? Will you allow it to be tainted by fear? Will you let anger contaminate it? How will you allow the light to be embodied? It’s up to you.

You are a sovereign being, with free will. This is the time for you to be a part of the body politic, as a sovereign being, to choose a new way forward.

the small things…

Consider the feather. The design and function are technologically advanced. Lightweight, but strong enough to move wind and carry weight. Soft enough to act as a support for resting places. Tiny, ultralight fibers that form shape and power the effect of the feather in flight. It is a tool for ascension and when used in collaboration, it assists navigation. It is both fragile and strong. Both snowflake and feather have great power in numbers. Unlike the snowflake, the feather has strength as a single entity. 


Spiritually, the feather is used as a tool for assessing the weight of the soul when life’s physical journey is complete. If, when you approach St. Michael, your soul weighs less than the feather, you enter heaven burden-free and unencumbered. So it is for the Egyptian Goddess Maat. She weighs, on her scales, the soul against the feather.

We seem to be carrying very heavy burdens in our souls these days.

As a way to help us relieve some of our burden and overcome the fear that permeates the air, like a dense, choking smoke of an industrial fire, I would like to call on each of you to act as a feather to bring us to an ascended place of clarity and forgiveness.

This act I’m going to request of you will not be easy to stomach. Your mind will ask you to resist the call. Your heart will crack a little at the prospect. You might even feel nauseated. I know, because I felt all these feelings when I heard Spirit call me to this action. So, I put myself into meditation and sought the truth that I know lives in my higher self. I am affirmed that the time for this act is right.

If you are familiar with State of Zero healing practice, you know that this is an off-shoot of ho’oponopono, which is community healing practiced in Native Hawaiian communities. It is intended to dispel any sickness in people as a result of wrong actions or anger held within the community. It is to be undertaken as a kind of prayer, with great respect and humility. It is a powerful practice

I am calling on you, and 11,109 (me and you would make 11,111) other ‘feathers’ to send a postcard to the White House on May 11, 2020 with these words written:

In the spirit of Ho’oponopono – I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you. I love you. 

Don’t write anything else. Don’t attach any malice or anger to the words as you are writing them. It won’t be easy for you to come to a place where you are willing to do this, and you don’t have much time to think about it if we are to be successful. So, I ask for you to put aside your egoic issues here. We have a work to do, a spiritual work to do. There is a battleground beyond what we can see with our 3D eyes, and you are being asked to put your spiritual sword in service to love, which is the only way to conquer fear, hatred, bigotry, and oppression.

Will you be that small but powerful feather that helps us all ascend and gain valuable ground in the spiritual war that is going on?

If so, please share widely and, if you would like, let me know that you have sent a postcard. Otherwise, I’m taking it on great faith that this gets accomplished. If I don’t hear anything from anyone, I will take responsibility for chanting this in a prayer 11,111 times on May 11.


Chop wood, carry water.

I’m so grateful for this time at home. I’m discovering just how much of an introvert I am, and I’m being given an opportunity to remember how to honor my home. Over the last several years, while I juggled maintaining a full time job, pursued and attained two degrees, and being active in my community, I haven’t put a lot of love and energy into our home. Modern life and its distractions. I have always been a “go, go, go” spirit. I remember being a little kid, propped over the front seat while my dad was driving, mom sitting shotgun, and willing them to turn left instead of right because I wasn’t ready to go home. Home was boring. Out and about was much better. 

What has been transpiring over the last few weeks is a reshaping of relationship and a shift in my energy. I have shifted my presence from ‘living in a house’ to ‘creating and nurturing a home’. I have come into a season where I would rather be home than out and about. I am making good use of this time. I am practicing “chop wood, carry water’. 

It’s raining, and one of my all-time favorite songs “Here With Me” is playing through my headphones. The vibe is luscious, chill, content – like floating in a deep blue pool of water.

In my practice of ‘chop wood, carry water’, I have come to understand that these moments of luscious vibing, where my senses are relaxed and alert, these moments require me to pay forward as much of these energies as I can.

In my last post, I wrote about the “oeconomy”, wherein the original meaning of “Oeconomy” related to the rules and laws of the household. This is where saving, frugality, conservation, building reserves originally developed. What happened in the household was an indicator of the health of the family, not just for today or this month, but for as long as feasibly possible. The home is the place where one learns how to be self-sufficient, but it is also the place where residents learn to be compassionate toward others, lest they would find themselves in a bad way, with no one to lean on for help. “There but for the Grace of God go I” was a foundational tenet of families. Not all families. But plenty. Many who had been through years of oppression, neglect, instability. Once they found stability, they tended to not forget what it was like to suffer, and would ease the suffering of others with whatever they had.

Before the profiteers, speculators, and conmen of commerce succeeded in turning us into wanton consumers, we were respectable participants in an oeconomy built of necessity and compassion. There were rules and guidelines. Never take more than you can use. Leave some for others. Do unto others. Share what you have, when you can. Waste not, want not. Don’t judge others too harshly. Be wise enough to not be made a fool of by an abuser, but don’t withhold your gift if it might help that abuser change their way.

The way that people are putting up provisions in this day and age is a bastardization of the way that my ancestors provisioned. Today, ‘preppers’ put away provisions from a place of fear. Many have no intention or plan for how to share with their community if the need should present itself. It isn’t ‘chop wood, carry water’. It’s more ‘stock and block’. It’s hoarding.

A critical mind will know the difference. To be able to differentiate between the proper way to practice ‘oeconomy’ as opposed to being a slave of the consumeristic ‘economy’.

As I have mentioned before, we have to do something differently, and we are being given that opportunity to distinguish ourselves, to distinguish our way of being a community from the way that has been forced upon us for too long. Yes, forced. There have been many attempts to return to the gift economy, the barter economy, all which have been oppressed and suppressed.

Put away provisions. Don’t hoard. Put enough away for your family and a little extra in case someone comes along that needs a little something. GIVE. GIVE. That is the only way we are going to heal.

What can you give? NOW IS THE TIME to find your way to put that one-two punch together to get to a new reality. The one punch has already been thrown. We gotta make that second punch the knock out punch, and that requires us deepening our empathy and compassion for each other.

So, in that vein, stop watching the fucking news and stop listening to the utter bullshit that is permeating social media right now. Fucking let that stuff go. It isn’t creating community. It’s creating division in community. At least until you can dance in that stream without getting shit on you. Take a break and get your heart and soul in a good place. Then when you have grounded yourself in the deep healing energy of love and compassion, come back to put goodness in, but don’t get sucked into the drama and the lies. Stay above it.

If you’ve made it this far, you should know that I’m going to change the format of this blog going forward. Since I only have a handful of readers, I’m going to start writing posts to leave for my children. For them to have something to touch into when I’m no longer around. To pass on any wisdom that the ancestors and guides put in my heart to share. So, you might see some kind of funky posts, but hopefully it will be words that resonate to others as well.

So, baamaapii and keep care of your best self. 🙂

Too many gurus

At the risk of sounding like one myself, I want you to stop listening to people telling you how you are supposed to ‘be’ in this world.  I want you to stop searching for the guru. I want you to start listening to yourself. To your inner guru.


I want you to disobey, immediately, the conditioning that puts you in a place of depleted sovereignty and increases your dependence on words and things that don’t align to who you are. In my ancestral teachings, every one of us brings a story to this world. We bring to this world a set of songs that are to be sung to grow, to heal, to help each other, and ultimately, a song we sing when we die.

Maybe you don’t know how to find your inner guru. Your inner wisdom. Or maybe you don’t know how to trust it. Maybe you think because you don’t see visions when you close your eyes and meditate, that your inner wisdom is nothing more than your ego talking to you. It could be. That’s definitely within the realm of possibility.

Instead, I want to suggest to you that maybe you are not designed to see visions. Maybe you are designed to hear in a way that others do not. Maybe you pick up on your inner wisdom through the sense of smell. Have you ever been in a meditative state, not necessarily spiritually motivated meditation, but a meditation where you are gently and intensely in a state of deep contemplation – in this meditative state, have you ever caught whiff of a particular scent that you knew was not normally expected? Some people will catch a scent of roses, for instance, or they will find themselves enveloped in the scent of the fecundity of nature (think mossy, wet, with a tinge of cedar). Have you felt something that was out of the ordinary? Or maybe. all of a sudden, you were aware of a taste in your mouth?

I bring this up because I want you to start thinking about the power of your inner wisdom and how it may manifest differently than the experiences of the Divine reported by others. The Divine Light, the Presence of a Creator, does not land on all souls in the same way. We were each created in a unique pattern, and in order for that inner wisdom to be tapped, in order for you to remember your responsibility as a Sacred sentient being you must realize that how you relate to the Divine will not necessarily match the experiences others identify as evidence that the Sacred, Divine Light is present in the moment.

I want you to think about the gift of grace, where and when you have been on the receiving end of a grace that was not deserved. Then I want you to think about when and where you have passed that gift on. This is important. Bear with me as we walk through this thought process. Grace is a powerful energy that is probably as potent as joy for creating wellness, healing, and abundance in our lives.

Abundance. There’s a loaded word, no?

I want you to consider that there are more ‘currencies’ in the universe than dollars, yen, peso, dinar, rouble, euro….you get my point. YOU are a currency. Your heart. Your gifts. Your grace. Anything that you give, is a currency. When you give from a place of grace and gratitude, you create a grounded, boundless “Oeconomy” and it manifests in dollars, yen, peso, dinar….etc., etc., etc.,.

Our understanding of economy (which is a concept morphed from the grounded “Oeconomy” oikonomia=oikos {household}+momoi {laws, rules, constraints}) is something rooted in making/selling/using/discarding things, at great cost to many with the scale of benefit tipped highly in favor of only a few. We get ‘jobs’ making/selling and become users/discarders of things in what has become an endless rat race of consumerism. In this rat race, some have abundance while others suffer in lack and poverty.

It doesn’t have to be that way. While we are in this time of jobs disappearing, this is our time to think about what we can do differently. How can we create something that is not so fragile, where our lives are not held at gunpoint to the rat race consumeristic mentality with a deeply inequitable benefit structure?

Maybe you think it’s not possible. Because of???? Some guru who told you so?

A different kind of economy is possible. You are a sacred part of the way forward.

“My ancestors didn’t accumulate capital, they accumulated networks of meaningful, deep, fluid, intimate collective and individual relationships of trust. In times of hardship, we did not rely to any great degree on accumulated capital or individualism but on the strength of our relationship to others.Leanne Betasamosake Simpson in “As We Have Always Done”

Those relationships of trust are built on grace. Foundationally, grace is the gold standard of an abundant Oeconomy, one where you don’t give away your sovereignty. Grace is giving as an act of faith, giving something that might not be deserved. We give because it is the right thing to do, not because it is a solid return on investment (ROI).

What are we doing right now? Besides living in confusion, those of us who aren’t on the frontlines of fighting this pandemic (bless them, every one), are either struggling with a job loss or fearing the loss of a job. The ‘gurus’ who are supposed to know how to ‘fix’ this are struggling to develop anything competent or cogent. They want to ignore how fragile and inequitable this broken thing was and rebuild it anyway. I think we all know that even if it COULD be rebuilt, is shouldn’t be rebuilt. Something that breaks so easily is perhaps a bad bet. While the ‘gurus’ insist on rebuilding this broken thing, instead of building trust in the relationship and responsibilities to the people, they are sowing discord and creating an economy of fear and distrust.

In my prayers the last few days, I have been moved to consider St. Joseph. He is a patron saint to workers. He is an archetype of steadfast and diligent work. What came to my awareness during meditation is that, in our bondage to capitalism, we have lost the distinction between work and job. The work that your soul is called to do is most likely very different from the job you hold in order to feed your body. The work that feeds both body and soul is the work that St. Joseph can help us find.

Stop waiting for the gurus to save our world. We should roll up our damn sleeves, proverbial or literal, or both, and get to the work. And I don’t just mean the physical work. I mean the spiritual work. We have some petitions to be making, from the depths of our souls. We have some cries that are waiting to escape from the deep interiors of our hearts. There’s a vibration that our bodies long to release, and it may feel like shaking.

The vibratory resonance of humility and grace, informed by Divine Light and Grace, is manifest sometime in the vibratory shaking and that is what shakes off the bonds that bind us to belief systems that deceive us into forsaking our own wisdom. When we shake off those bonds, and find our way to our work, we create in the world a refreshed and authentic way of being in a ‘household of shared values’ (Oeconomy).

We create a new Oeconomy that is vibrant, robust, and equitable.

One more thing that is important to note here. There is a sacred balance between understanding your divinity and sacredness as a unique soul inhabiting a body, and the individualism that perpetrates greed, selfishness, and hoarding. It is our time to understand where the fulcrum is and to bring things back to balance. Every single one of us has an inherent right to live healthy, unencumbered lives and that right has a sacred responsibility attached to it. Part of that responsibility is not harming others.

But first. You must stop listening to gurus, find your inner wisdom,  and learn to be your sacred self in a community of other sacred selves. Keep care of your story. Keep care of the songs you are supposed to be singing. Find your work, and be open to the reality that your work is likely attached to a “job” …. if that turns out to be true, never lose touch with the meaning and true value of your work. May we all find our work.

Grounded gratitude

img_0999May all sentient beings be awake and aware of the Divine Light they carry, which is a precious gift of grace from Creator.

May those Divine Lights find sustained connection, lighting up our weary and burdened world, in the spirit of refreshing and renewing it in a good way.

May we forgive and repent of all past errors in order to lay down a fertile foundation for generations to come.


If you are able, tap into the medicine of gratitude. I am thankful for these moments, where we can see how clean our air can really be; where we can see what is really precious and valuable in life; where we can see how life can be lived —-

more authentically
more compassionately
more generously
more simply


Gratitude is strong medicine. It reminds the soul of the gifts endowed by spirit, whether deserved or not, creating a energy burst comparable to a volcanic event. If you are able to put your spirit in gratitude gear, intend to radiate out to others in the perfect timing known and understood by spirit. Rest in faith that those seeds will land in the proper time, and with the proper spirit.

When we are pulsing in that state of gratitude, with the blessings of spiritual sight, we will find ourselves ready to make the grounded changes to life on this planet, Sustainable. Grounded. Collaborative.

Much has shifted. The light has gotten in through the crack. Recognize it. Ground it. And prepare the spirit to take the next steps so that the fertile and fruitful foundation is properly lain.

The light has gotten through the cracks. Be in joy, extend to others what you can.

Rain drops of faith


I am privileged, in these trying and turbulent times, to be able to work from home. I observe the fear and anger from the periphery. Family and friends who have different levels of, or absolutely no, privilege are living this reality in ways that I remember from earlier days in my life. I keep a close eye on them. Holding them in my heart, my prayers, ready to help as needed.


Peripherally, I see and hear, with my physical and spiritual eyes and ears, the fear that buzzes through community. The fear drags spirits down in hertz, stifling the natural affinity to rise to higher levels of energy. Observing these lower levels of energies pulse through the energetic web of community, I pray for a rain storm of faith, drops pregnant with molecules pregnant with faith, to rain down and nourish the growth of our innate abilities to rise to higher energies, that we may lift each other up.


Divine light invited me into a service of using my privilege in good ways. Not only to pray and meditate fervently, but also to practice Divine Witnessing. For this service, I’m grateful to have found a global group of prayer warriors. “Divine witnessing,” says Garrett Lo Porto, “is the most powerful form of non-violence because it heals the very source of violence. It turns your enemies into friends, even when you thought they were deplorable and wrong. In a place where you see no light, you make your own.”

In my inner-standing, divine witnessing when standing in divine light, is the most powerful form of transmuting fear, where fear and it’s fruits can be turned into the beautiful fruits borne of faithful observing.

Today, the 11th day of the month, is an auspicious day per Dr. Masaru Emoto to call on our relative, nbi (water) to rain down drops infused with faith in every molecule, to heal and nourish our innate abilities to rise to higher energies, to break the bondages of fear and disempower the fruits of fear (anger, hate, greed, selfishness) and infuse us with the fruits of faith (compassion, grace, love, generosity).


Nbi is our first and best medicine. Nbi is our first and best teacher. Nbi is faith.

May we be Divine Witnesses of the transformation of our communities learning how to give more than we take, one Divine Light Holder after another.