The 'i' is silent, I'm not

“Driver 8, take a break, take a break Driver 8 we’ve been on this shift too long”.

We are in trying times. Understatement of the decade. Guilty. Depending on where you come from, fear may be your overarching emotion. You might be vegging out, watching television. You might be overeating or overspending, searching out things that you think will keep you safe if the world gets more crazy.

I’ve been spending a lot of my time getting my spiritual house in order. Funny thing about the universe – actually, it is an elegantly beautiful thing about the universe – when you set your intention in an authentic way, gears move, stairs move, and what you need shows up. Found a lot of people out there who are making things happen to help me on my path. Astrologers, reticent prophets, intuitives, healers…bringing me words and images to help me prepare and understand what’s next. Well, as much as is allowed and necessary.

I’ve also been spending a good deal of time praying, for all of us. To bring us up into the light. To help release us from our generational patterns that have wrought destruction and pain. So, I’m going to share some things with you that I hope have meaning and can help you situate yourself. Be thinking about the number 8, as you read. Be feeling your way into the energy of 8. Because, baby, it’s gonna be an experience.

So, first I’ll start with a statement, that some will understand. The veil between the worlds is thinning. Therefore, we have more space to reach out to our ancestors, for guidance and wisdom – through stories and art – so that we can avoid the same mistakes that have been made in the past.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

The number 8, it’s connection to Saturn, as the representation of Maat, the Goddess of Justice, the relation to 8 continents and as a symbol for infinity, is coming up for a lot of people. Some are aware. Some aren’t.

There’s a lot going on here. According to this astrologer’s interpretation of the planets in this time, we are coming in to some rough times. I won’t do her exposition any justice, so it’s better if you just go read her work. What struck me, as I read her blog, is that these trying times are felt all across humanity. The challenge knows no border or does it have any compunction to honor nationality.

The astrology points to an end in sight, a feeling I landed on during my meditation a couple of weeks ago. There is an end in sight. The question of how we will have changed after all this is still up for grabs, to some extent. I have faith in the brilliant spark of creation that exists in each body, whether well or ill. That genius, fired by Creator’s light, will light all of us. It’s a light, warm and bright, not shocking and cold, a light that causes our sleeping eyelids to flutter into consciousness, awareness. A light so warm that, rather than cursing the light, the soul begins to stir in joy, excited to come to consciousness with their best and highest self. Some will do that while inhabiting the body. Some will do that as they shed the body and move into the next reality.

For those who stay here, awake, in this body and on this plane – I suggest getting out more, safely (don’t be a vector or get yourself exposed to this virus). The earth calls your feet. The water calls your skin. The birds seek your ears. The trees wish for your hug, which will inform their cells as they go about creating another ring. The flowers seek your sense of smell, which is absolutely key in creating joy in your energetic sphere. All seek to be in collaboration with you to create joy, to radiate that joy out into the ethers.

Be. Be. Be.

Contemplate more on the number 8. Saturn and the number 8. Where might you find an opportunity to transmute the darkness and fear into something more joyful and righteous? 8, turned on it’s side, is the infinity symbol. 8 in the Thoth Tarot is the trump for Adjustment, Justice, the Goddess Maat. She holds the scales of justice and by her measure, the feather, weighs the heart. Are you light in heart? Are your deeds just? Have you cleansed yourself of the negative energy of your misdeeds? The number 8 can mean a balancing between our spiritual and material sides.

You might be sensing it – a lot of people are leaving this planet, very quickly. We are all now riding the wake of those waves of people leaving. We, in western society, have no means to honor or handle death properly. Very few people know what it means to prepare your death song, so that you die a good death. Very few communities keep the tradition of keening women alive and well. And here we are. Trying to navigate it, where the societal norm says to avoid death and it’s rituals.

I think it is no mistake that number 8 is coming up for folks. Infinity. The perpetual movement of changing forms, transmutation. Transmuting from a physical body in this world, to a different body (or not) somewhere else.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is serious business, being a witness during these times. Where so many souls are leaving. It’s staggering, it’s heartbreaking, and we who are left – who can hear, who can see – are called to do the work of managing the wake they leave behind. Reach out to your community – both in this realm and beyond. See what it is you are called to do. Maybe it’s nothing but to hold space in a quiet and rooted manner. That’s fine. Do that with all your heart.

We will get through this. It’s not going to be easy, but you are here on purpose. On. Purpose. I put a video together this morning, which I hope also helps.

Miigwech. Giizaagiin. Baamaapii.

 

I live a good portion of my life on the spiritual side. Woke this morning with a desire to access protective energies of some stone relatives to help keep negative energies from our home. After doing some research have decided to make some adornments for major entrances to our abode. Have some good crystals coming my way. Jet stone, fire agate, amethyst, smokey quartz are the ones I decided to invoke. 

Only recently have I started to feel alive. I have been drinking more water and actually dancing. Which has also involved some exercises with weights and medicine balls.

Those of us who are light workers and who have access to the spirit world must now be more anchored, lively, joyful. Respectfully, of course. Situational awareness is key. At the same time, don’t deprive yourself of the access you have to joy and never forget how you channel the goodness and light into these trying times.

Spend time with your plant relatives. Give thanks to the waters. Pray that the peace that passes understanding rests on the shoulders of your family, your friends, your neighbors and your companions. Breathe.

Breathe. Reach out to people who are struggling. Who are deeply fearful. Try to be a calm port in the storm for those you live near and with. Take good care of yourself, by breathing in the healing from your plant relatives, from the cleansing and healing properties of water.

Get yourself a stone. A branch. A shell. Hold it as an anchor.

Hang in there, guys. We will be stronger. We are seeing the facades and the lies fall to the ground. It’s very uncomfortable, but it’s very necessary. We have been waiting for this time. We are here on purpose.

I might do a podcast on this in the next day or two. I want to make sure I’m in the best space possible.

Miigwech. Baamaapii.

I’m fortunate enough to be able to telecommute and still earn an income. But I have friends and family members who do not have that privilege. So my husband and I are brainstorming ways we might be able to help when called on. A fundamental belief we hold is that an economy should not merely be an engine to drive wealth into a few hands. Instead, an economy should be a tool that helps to sustain and maintain those ideals and principles of a meaningful and good life. Consider what you can do to help others have a more graceful and easier life experience. It’s a great way to become a real human being.

I have personally taken a grand dislike to the idea of passive income as an economic engine. There have been too many instances of the drive for profits conflagrating the class divide, rather than building a bridge in the gap between wealth and poverty. We are seeing this played out in real time, right now, and I don’t believe it will be resolved by a call to ‘return to normal’. In my opinion, we are way past anything that will return us to ‘old normal’ – and we should see this as a good thing.

However, the only real way to do that in a good way, is to quit being in denial about how rigged our economic systems are designed, and have historically been designed, so that they push wealth into the hands of the hoarders. At the risk of sounding like an idealistic liberal, I do believe that being generous and kind in all scenarios is the only way to be a real human being. So many people withhold their generosity because of the fear of being taken advantage of and thereby being left with nothing.

However, traditional ways of building economic models, at least anecdotally for now, have shown us that the richest and most robust economies were based on giving away the wealth. (sidetone: It is my hope that I can be allowed to research this topic and lend my voice to the many who are calling for a return to indigenous wisdom) We have lived for too long in economies that exploit and degrade. We are not better for it.

I encourage you to think about what you can do to be a help during this time. Rather than giving in to the fear and the hype, understand that we are facing tremendous changes in society, and try to imagine ways to create better realities for all our communities.

Miigwech.

My dears…hear me when I tell you, the monsters are showing us how dark and calloused their hearts are.

Do not turn away from the sight of this. I implore you.

We must see ourselves in the nooks and crannies and the sinew of their hearts, and take responsibility for how we have collectively participated in the dehumanizing of our culture. We must SEE and OWN the greed, the callousness, the hardness….

You, whose hearts are enraged and broken by their dark and calcified hearts, are the ones who can lead us all to light…

observe
and witness
their darkness, 

pick it up to heal it, 

and then let it go.

Throw your prayers and some asema smoke on it, and watch their darkness be consumed by the light, watch their calcified hearts be transmuted by the smoke as it dissipates.

Do.
Not.
Let their hardness and lack of light darken your hearts.

Be strong. You are called to help the healing. You are here on purpose. 
Miigwech. Giizaagiin

Some days I wake up with high anxiety. Other days, it’s a lower grade version. I wake with a feeling of stress, and the need to go right into prayers or mantras. Today is one of those days.

I feel like I’m snagged by a log in a stagnant pond, backwater to the flowing river. Part of me is grateful, because I can see how much rage is in that river. I can see how much debris is being moved by that river, and though I may be in a still, stagnant pool, I somehow feel safer, but still anxious.

The anxiety and the stagnation are contributing to the decay of time. My body, my spirit, my thought processes…lack light, brilliance, fire. I am in a lull. The bugs are biting and I’m just kind of resolved to their impact.

I think I need a break. A change in scenery. A reset. I know I can do this without leaving my home, but there is quite a bit of work involved, both physically and mentally, to prepare for making the most of the time. A ritual of some sort is in order.

My disconnection from social media is not complete yet, but the chains are breaking one by one. Old habits die hard. New habits must be nurtured.

The grays in my hair will no longer be covered up with henna. Time is what it is, and wisdom is hard to come by.  I am no longer interested in hiding who I am and what my life means in this time. Beyond those reasons, my scalp needs a rest.

What does this have to do with the reclamation of sovereignty? One of the main components of personal sovereignty is knowing oneself and taking responsibility for one’s role in the world. Not many people are conditioned to do this, nor do they have the courage for it. Going gray in this world takes courage, and every morning as I get ready for the work day I question the wisdom of letting my grays be, yet somehow manage to summon the personal courage to let them be.

And each day I nurture that courage, I reclaim a piece of my personal sovereignty.

The reclamation of personal sovereignty can be like a fire. A single ember, when held in a good way, can reignite the sovereignty each person holds. For too long, we have let media, advertisers, and legislators to slowly diminish our personal sovereignty. Well, for some of us, the reduction has been slow. For others of us, the reduction has been swift and inhumane.

By reclaiming our personal sovereignty, we reclaim the piece of ourselves that was granted to us by our Creator. We acknowledge that we are not ‘cogs in the machine’ and that we are here on purpose, for a reason, and in perfect time, even if it’s hard for us to know what reason, or how we fit into this time. Part of the confusion that so many of us feel is rooted in the fact that we have been conditioned to believe that our purpose is only equal to the purpose put forth in the media. We may feel lost, and we may anesthetize ourselves to soften the pain of feeling lost or out of time.

I have found that social media only makes that worse. Instead of building community, and creating space for diversity in our lives, the algorithms only push us into echo chambers of communities. We grow dull, lifeless, cynical and one-dimensional. This happens without us even realizing it.

I am taking back my personal sovereignty by removing myself as much as possible from social media. I will no longer allow information about me to be tracked, harvested, analyzed, compiled and used against me or people I love.

Because so much of my activism is tied to some platforms, I can’t quit them completely. But understanding how the platforms use likes, friends, and group membership, I can free myself, to some extent, by unfriending people. I break that tie. I put a glitch in the algorithm, at least for a little bit.

I suggest that the quickest way to kill that paradigm of abuse and control is to unfriend people (or leave social media altogether), physically get out of your comfort zone and into your community to meet people. Build bonds. Create space for mutual understanding and respect. Hug the people you care about, in real time and in real life. Reclaim your personal sovereignty, in a good way. Find the courage to be who you are, who you were created to be.

With great respect – and in the belief that you are amazing, See you in the real world.

For months, I have tried to puzzle out in my spirit how it is that people in power are so intransigent about the dangers of capitalism to life on this planet. Whether it’s begging a city council to be more humane in the way they deal with houseless people, or putting facts in front of lawmakers about the destruction of extracting and burning fossil fuels, the intransigence and indifference that I have personally experienced is, to say the least, despairing.

For the second time this year, I had the privilege of visiting the Peace Palace in Den Haag (The Hague) The Netherlands. All my life, I have dreamed of being in this space. It was a tiny little dream, because I never thought I would be able to actually achieve it. The universe works in very intentional ways, when your spirit is at the helm, I have found. This second visit was very special for me because I was able to tour the facilities with my husband. A very special moment that I will always treasure.

The Peace Palace was created as a result of one person’s dream to put an end to endless wars. Czar Nicholas saw what the ravages of war and colonialism were doing to his people and to his lands, and in 1899, convened the first Peace conference. 14 years later, after much work and collaboration with people who also sought to end the cycle of war, the Peace Palace was opened. You can read about the history here. While I was inspired by the work that is done there, I was also puzzled how we have a history of over 100 years of court cases heard in these halls yet we still are nowhere closer to fulfilling the dream of living in peace, collaboratively, securely and harmoniously. The decisions of the Permanent Court of Arbitration and the International Court of Justice are binding, but there is little to no enforcement mechanism of the decisions. (This will be another topic in the future, where I discuss the meaning of a person’s honor and their commitment to their word.)

A couple of days ago, I wrote about the power of positive thought and intention. I do still believe that this is the only way to move forward. But, in order for that to manifest in its fullness, we have to come to terms with what we are up against. I wrote about the darkness that infiltrates the halls and hearts of ‘power’. I wrote about how light is the only way to beat the darkness back. It’s more than darkness, though. Their intransigence is the combination of a few realities, I believe.

The majority of the people who we assume to hold power aren’t stupid. They aren’t ignorant. They are, to my mind, extremely greedy, but most of them aren’t fully callous. To see their intransigence, knowing that they are intelligent and still somewhat human is baffling and deflating. How can this be? How can we celebrate their accomplishments when we know that, on balance, they have caused more harm than good? What drives them?

There is a tool that has been used in public policy for some time now: game theory. This tool allows policy makers to ‘game out’ the different scenarios associated to different public policy decisions. In theory, it’s a good idea. It’s a way to ensure that all aspects of a decision have been analyzed and taken into account. Game theory has a long history and many components – and I’m not smart enough to know which component is being used in any given circumstance. However, I am most assured that this is the underlying model that every policy analyst uses to inform policy makers.

So, if game theory is the tool being used to make decisions, why do we continue to see horrible policies enacted by people who are not stupid, nor are they fully callous? Why do we see policies enacted that leave so many people out in the cold, literally? Or left to die of toxic exposure? Why do we continually see the environment sacrificed? If I use my intuition, and choose to not be jaded in my thought processes, my guess would be that the game theory decision making process is 1. weighted heavily toward the “payoff” element, which may or may not be informed by economic outcomes and 2. some of the games have led decision makers to believe that there is an ‘end’ coming and the best they can do is prepare a small subset of the population for this ‘end’ and the rest are collateral damage.

I am sorry to say that I cannot, at this time, offer any qualitative or quantitative data on this topic. Perhaps in the future, I will be able to do so. What I can say is that this is anecdotal speculation is based in my personal experience and the experiences of my community cohort. Therefore, I believe that, as a theory, it has enough substance to inform how we can use light to change the path that we are on.

The Peace Palace is the result of many people, intelligent, caring and flawed, coming together to say that there is a better way – and here is the space where we can find that better way together. The time has come for us to ensure that the intention and the light associated to that place is no longer cloaked in darkness or subjected to the negative aspects of game theory. We can find a way to a better way of being. But we must understand the elements of the game being played.

Let’s put an end to the practice of allowing our environment and our neighbors being treated as collateral damage in game theory dominated by capitalism.

For months, I’ve been struggling with how to participate in my community in order to bring more equity and justice into these spaces.  I’m nobody. I’m not the smartest person in the world. I forget stuff, a lot. Short story, I’m not ‘all that’. I barely fit in with mainstream groups, and my introvert likes to stay on the fringe, anyway. But – I want to put my hands to work. It’s what I’m called to do. All attempts to put myself ‘out there’ have yielded painful lessons, many of which are self-inflicted painful lessons. It ain’t easy being an introverted Capricorn with social justice imprinted in her soul.

But I’m strong. I have ancestors, guides, angels, and guardians. I have support where it matters most. I just have to remember that this is what matters most.

This morning, Spirit Council woke me up again with a reminder. “Think positive thoughts”. This is a foundation teaching in my spiritual journey. Bring into the fore that which you know you want and put your attention there. Energy flows where attention goes. Their message to me came not long after I decided to stop using social media. Timely. Intentional. Aho.

But, I have some resistance to this idea of “think positive thoughts” as a remedy for what ails the world. Mostly because people have misused this spiritual teaching as a way to shirk their responsibility as part of the body politic. Some people have even used this spiritual teaching as a way to gaslight the damage that they are inflicting on others. But I’m not some people. I’m Twylia. I know the power and value of this spiritual teaching. Still, the Council had to give me some really good advice about how to carry this practice into this crazy ass world.

Face the reality that there is a spiritual darkness that permeates the world, in agency and industry, in community. A spiritual darkness that is immune to reason and compassion and is intransigent in its mission. The only way to move that spiritual darkness is to throw light at it. The only way to throw light at it, is to keep in the light – and to keep thoughts and intentions in the positive. There are ways to do this; think Joan of Arc. The armor is made of light and positive affirmations. The armor is necessary. But it can’t just be any armor. It has to be infused with positive intentions, which are then manifested by the word.

“With the light of compassion, we will overcome the corporate greed that allows our neighbors to be houseless.”

“We will move the spiritual darkness that walks the halls of our democratic institutions so that light fills those halls, in every nook and cranny.”

“With the light of honesty, we will successfully change the charters of our democratic institutions so that equity and justice live at the forefront of every code and regulation.”

“With the light of truth, we will restore the reciprocal relationship between us and  our more-than-human relatives so that the sacred abundance offered by our Mother is restored and honored.”

The light is the way. The light lives in positive thoughts. And the positive words are what creates a new reality. It all starts with your thoughts.

So, as I sat with this advice, and contemplated the struggles I have encountered over the last several months, I came to realize that this is my work. THIS. I am a glitch in the matrix. I am a beacon of light. And I need to adjust accordingly in action.

With a realization that some of my personality traits are vexing:

my desire for things
me, being prodigal, in the shadow,
a tendency to hoard that which is not needful
fed by a frenzied need to consume those things hoarded
which are neither needful nor helpful.
I am a prodigal out of balance.
I am prodigious. 

Some of these personality traits are inherited. They run in the family, so to speak. They worsen as I age, which is an interesting phenomena to explore, when I take an observer’s view of my life.

Hoarding is a societal problem, and it is evident in almost every level of our way of being. Consumption – consumerism – is a societal problem. And it is grossly evident everywhere. We are conditioned to view hoarding and consumption as normal. There is no balance in the system, because we live in a negative feedback loop. Even the most enlightened, the most devoted to a spiritual awakening, get caught up and splinched in the negative feedback loop when they try to escape.

Many bear the scars of those splinches. Evidence of their attempts to escape and lead a way to a more grown-up, mature, balanced way of being human in this world. Those scars are mocked in some circles. In some circles, those scars are blessed.

As I look at my life, from my internal presence, I see that I am healing from my hoarding. I see that I am full up with the detritus of things consumed which are neither needful nor helpful. I am ready to shed the consumptive spirit which fires the hungry-eyes of consumerism. I am ready to be a balanced prodigal.

This morning, my spirit council woke me with a nudge, telling me I needed to take a new path on my spiritual journey. Maybe not a completely “new” path, perhaps more a ‘side journey’ whereby my footsteps can be realigned and recentered. I won’t divulge all the message that I received, but there are parts of the message that I feel need to be expressed in the world, as seeds, and hopefully they can land in a good way.

There are spiritual teachings that are founded upon what is considered a universal law – “as above, so below; as within, so without”. My guidance from the spirit council is that it’s time to embrace humility as a foundational spiritual practice more regularly. To seek forgiveness, to repent (change my mind), to remember that what I see in the world that I fear is wrong is a reflection back to me of what I need to correct in my soul and in my heart.

They reminded me of a meme that sometimes pops up on social media feeds…”Be humble, you ain’t all that.” We live in a world where the consequences of our collective wrongs are being shown to us in very real and painful ways. We have a responsibility to see these consequences and to take ownership of our role in the many errors of our ways that have led us here. We can no longer afford to play victim or martyr. We must accept our responsibility as adults and endeavor to course correct.

Many don’t want to take responsibility for the little ways that their spiritual errors have contributed to the scenarios we find ourselves in today. Some may not want to see that their obnoxious self-righteousness has created a horrible pendulum effect, whereby ‘that which you fear the most can meet you halfway’ and instead want to cling to their self-righteous stance while the world burns around them. (I know, I have been on this path for a few months).

What I will do is the spiritual work that I am called to do, without casting blame or judgement on others, taking the responsibility for my part, and hopefully this will manifest a ripple effect of the Golden Rose energies throughout the universe. Courage and faith are required.