I’m up. And unable to sleep. My peace is deeply disturbed. The fear and anxiety are very high right now and the nightmare I just had is probably my psyche trying to work things out.
When I was a little girl, I used to dream about having to hide from the nazis a lot. I would, in my dreams, conjure up places in my house where I could hide. I don’t ever remember the places actually being safe. One time, in my dreams, I came up with a plan to line my walls with mattresses so that the bullets wouldn’t penetrate the walls of our house. My nightmare was once again about nazis, dressing in business clothes, tearing families apart.
I am trying so hard to not give in to fear and worry. My stomach is in knots and my breathing is shallow and rapid. A good friend told me, worry is a prayer. I’ve been told that fear is our enemy. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
I cannot even begin to imagine the level of stress and fear my friends and family who would be targeted by white supremacists are trying to manage. I know that the energetic laws of the universe work in such a way that what you fear the most can meet you halfway…but it’s hard to beat back this level of fear. It’s been with me a long time. I am deeply worried for and about my friends and family who are at risk from genocidal violence.
I should be in bed. But I think I’ll sit here a little longer and let the song of frog and the beauty of some falling stars remind me how fear can be overcome.
If you are afraid too, let’s work together to overcome that fear. Let’s embrace each other and strengthen our solidarity around love and peace.