viral …..

Last week, i received a pre-diagnosis of viral meningitis, after weeks and weeks of being ill with a headache, nausea, dizziness and congestion. I am on my second full day of treatment, and the headache is still immense.

I took Friday off, to have a full three day weekend of self-care. Of respite. Of not doing anything and not feeling guilty about it. I am not watching a bunch of television, and I’m trying to stay off of social media. Today, I have meditation music in the background, while I make some candles….something I have been meaning to do for months. I also am putting together batches of devils club salve and chaparral salve for my mom and dad and a dear elder.

Viral meningitis is no joke. I say pre-diagnosis, because I have not had the lumbar procedure, also known as the spinal tap, and I would like to avoid that at all costs. I have a history of chronic Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV), so I should be very familiar with how viruses show up in my body, but I also tend to live in denial about it. The reality is that we are all one big petri dish. Virus, bacteria, hemoglobin, water, biological materials that are meant to work together in harmony….and when that harmony is disrupted, the imbalance creates a space for viral and bacterial bodies to colonize and cause pain.

A virus is a living being. If it has overrun my system, I need to understand how and, if I’m diligent, I can try to understand why.

epstein barr virus NIH 3D print exchange

The EBV image above, via the NIH 3D Print Exchange, looks benign and cool, kind of. There are other images on the web that aren’t as benign looking The thing about EBV, is that 90% of the population has this virus but it only causes issues in about 1% to 5% of adults. It’s kind of a nasty bugger to have riding around in your system, and especially if you don’t know how to keep it in check. {raises hand} I suspect that I became reactivated and the reactivation was aggravated by mosquito bites when I was in Texas visiting my family.

Being ill has caused me to slow down. Way down. I have had to rethink what I do with my time. I have taken a couple of hot soaks and this has reminded me the power of soaking in water. My relative. I’m determined to heal in a good way, to return to a way of being that is harmonious, light, and beneficial.

Taking time to care for my self, my whole self, is non-negotiable. I’m grateful to my friends who have given me wisdom and care, and for the love and support of my family during this time. Take time for yourself, in any way that has meaning to you.

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Twylia (the 'i' is silent)

~ I am Anishinaabe-kwe with Scottish heritage and Sami DNA. I speak on the behalf of no one but myself. My ancestors inform and guide me. My voice is but one of many who are calling for change. We have much work to do to create a good space for the real human beings who are waiting to be born.

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