Some days I wake up with high anxiety. Other days, it’s a lower grade version. I wake with a feeling of stress, and the need to go right into prayers or mantras. Today is one of those days.
I feel like I’m snagged by a log in a stagnant pond, backwater to the flowing river. Part of me is grateful, because I can see how much rage is in that river. I can see how much debris is being moved by that river, and though I may be in a still, stagnant pool, I somehow feel safer, but still anxious.
The anxiety and the stagnation are contributing to the decay of time. My body, my spirit, my thought processes…lack light, brilliance, fire. I am in a lull. The bugs are biting and I’m just kind of resolved to their impact.
I think I need a break. A change in scenery. A reset. I know I can do this without leaving my home, but there is quite a bit of work involved, both physically and mentally, to prepare for making the most of the time. A ritual of some sort is in order.
My disconnection from social media is not complete yet, but the chains are breaking one by one. Old habits die hard. New habits must be nurtured.
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