Too many gurus

At the risk of sounding like one myself, I want you to stop listening to people telling you how you are supposed to ‘be’ in this world.  I want you to stop searching for the guru. I want you to start listening to yourself. To your inner guru.


I want you to disobey, immediately, the conditioning that puts you in a place of depleted sovereignty and increases your dependence on words and things that don’t align to who you are. In my ancestral teachings, every one of us brings a story to this world. We bring to this world a set of songs that are to be sung to grow, to heal, to help each other, and ultimately, a song we sing when we die.

Maybe you don’t know how to find your inner guru. Your inner wisdom. Or maybe you don’t know how to trust it. Maybe you think because you don’t see visions when you close your eyes and meditate, that your inner wisdom is nothing more than your ego talking to you. It could be. That’s definitely within the realm of possibility.

Instead, I want to suggest to you that maybe you are not designed to see visions. Maybe you are designed to hear in a way that others do not. Maybe you pick up on your inner wisdom through the sense of smell. Have you ever been in a meditative state, not necessarily spiritually motivated meditation, but a meditation where you are gently and intensely in a state of deep contemplation – in this meditative state, have you ever caught whiff of a particular scent that you knew was not normally expected? Some people will catch a scent of roses, for instance, or they will find themselves enveloped in the scent of the fecundity of nature (think mossy, wet, with a tinge of cedar). Have you felt something that was out of the ordinary? Or maybe. all of a sudden, you were aware of a taste in your mouth?

I bring this up because I want you to start thinking about the power of your inner wisdom and how it may manifest differently than the experiences of the Divine reported by others. The Divine Light, the Presence of a Creator, does not land on all souls in the same way. We were each created in a unique pattern, and in order for that inner wisdom to be tapped, in order for you to remember your responsibility as a Sacred sentient being you must realize that how you relate to the Divine will not necessarily match the experiences others identify as evidence that the Sacred, Divine Light is present in the moment.

I want you to think about the gift of grace, where and when you have been on the receiving end of a grace that was not deserved. Then I want you to think about when and where you have passed that gift on. This is important. Bear with me as we walk through this thought process. Grace is a powerful energy that is probably as potent as joy for creating wellness, healing, and abundance in our lives.

Abundance. There’s a loaded word, no?

I want you to consider that there are more ‘currencies’ in the universe than dollars, yen, peso, dinar, rouble, euro….you get my point. YOU are a currency. Your heart. Your gifts. Your grace. Anything that you give, is a currency. When you give from a place of grace and gratitude, you create a grounded, boundless “Oeconomy” and it manifests in dollars, yen, peso, dinar….etc., etc., etc.,.

Our understanding of economy (which is a concept morphed from the grounded “Oeconomy” oikonomia=oikos {household}+momoi {laws, rules, constraints}) is something rooted in making/selling/using/discarding things, at great cost to many with the scale of benefit tipped highly in favor of only a few. We get ‘jobs’ making/selling and become users/discarders of things in what has become an endless rat race of consumerism. In this rat race, some have abundance while others suffer in lack and poverty.

It doesn’t have to be that way. While we are in this time of jobs disappearing, this is our time to think about what we can do differently. How can we create something that is not so fragile, where our lives are not held at gunpoint to the rat race consumeristic mentality with a deeply inequitable benefit structure?

Maybe you think it’s not possible. Because of???? Some guru who told you so?

A different kind of economy is possible. You are a sacred part of the way forward.

“My ancestors didn’t accumulate capital, they accumulated networks of meaningful, deep, fluid, intimate collective and individual relationships of trust. In times of hardship, we did not rely to any great degree on accumulated capital or individualism but on the strength of our relationship to others.Leanne Betasamosake Simpson in “As We Have Always Done”

Those relationships of trust are built on grace. Foundationally, grace is the gold standard of an abundant Oeconomy, one where you don’t give away your sovereignty. Grace is giving as an act of faith, giving something that might not be deserved. We give because it is the right thing to do, not because it is a solid return on investment (ROI).

What are we doing right now? Besides living in confusion, those of us who aren’t on the frontlines of fighting this pandemic (bless them, every one), are either struggling with a job loss or fearing the loss of a job. The ‘gurus’ who are supposed to know how to ‘fix’ this are struggling to develop anything competent or cogent. They want to ignore how fragile and inequitable this broken thing was and rebuild it anyway. I think we all know that even if it COULD be rebuilt, is shouldn’t be rebuilt. Something that breaks so easily is perhaps a bad bet. While the ‘gurus’ insist on rebuilding this broken thing, instead of building trust in the relationship and responsibilities to the people, they are sowing discord and creating an economy of fear and distrust.

In my prayers the last few days, I have been moved to consider St. Joseph. He is a patron saint to workers. He is an archetype of steadfast and diligent work. What came to my awareness during meditation is that, in our bondage to capitalism, we have lost the distinction between work and job. The work that your soul is called to do is most likely very different from the job you hold in order to feed your body. The work that feeds both body and soul is the work that St. Joseph can help us find.

Stop waiting for the gurus to save our world. We should roll up our damn sleeves, proverbial or literal, or both, and get to the work. And I don’t just mean the physical work. I mean the spiritual work. We have some petitions to be making, from the depths of our souls. We have some cries that are waiting to escape from the deep interiors of our hearts. There’s a vibration that our bodies long to release, and it may feel like shaking.

The vibratory resonance of humility and grace, informed by Divine Light and Grace, is manifest sometime in the vibratory shaking and that is what shakes off the bonds that bind us to belief systems that deceive us into forsaking our own wisdom. When we shake off those bonds, and find our way to our work, we create in the world a refreshed and authentic way of being in a ‘household of shared values’ (Oeconomy).

We create a new Oeconomy that is vibrant, robust, and equitable.

One more thing that is important to note here. There is a sacred balance between understanding your divinity and sacredness as a unique soul inhabiting a body, and the individualism that perpetrates greed, selfishness, and hoarding. It is our time to understand where the fulcrum is and to bring things back to balance. Every single one of us has an inherent right to live healthy, unencumbered lives and that right has a sacred responsibility attached to it. Part of that responsibility is not harming others.

But first. You must stop listening to gurus, find your inner wisdom,  and learn to be your sacred self in a community of other sacred selves. Keep care of your story. Keep care of the songs you are supposed to be singing. Find your work, and be open to the reality that your work is likely attached to a “job” …. if that turns out to be true, never lose touch with the meaning and true value of your work. May we all find our work.

Grounded gratitude

img_0999May all sentient beings be awake and aware of the Divine Light they carry, which is a precious gift of grace from Creator.

May those Divine Lights find sustained connection, lighting up our weary and burdened world, in the spirit of refreshing and renewing it in a good way.

May we forgive and repent of all past errors in order to lay down a fertile foundation for generations to come.


If you are able, tap into the medicine of gratitude. I am thankful for these moments, where we can see how clean our air can really be; where we can see what is really precious and valuable in life; where we can see how life can be lived —-

more authentically
more compassionately
more generously
more simply


Gratitude is strong medicine. It reminds the soul of the gifts endowed by spirit, whether deserved or not, creating a energy burst comparable to a volcanic event. If you are able to put your spirit in gratitude gear, intend to radiate out to others in the perfect timing known and understood by spirit. Rest in faith that those seeds will land in the proper time, and with the proper spirit.

When we are pulsing in that state of gratitude, with the blessings of spiritual sight, we will find ourselves ready to make the grounded changes to life on this planet, Sustainable. Grounded. Collaborative.

Much has shifted. The light has gotten in through the crack. Recognize it. Ground it. And prepare the spirit to take the next steps so that the fertile and fruitful foundation is properly lain.

The light has gotten through the cracks. Be in joy, extend to others what you can.

Rain drops of faith


I am privileged, in these trying and turbulent times, to be able to work from home. I observe the fear and anger from the periphery. Family and friends who have different levels of, or absolutely no, privilege are living this reality in ways that I remember from earlier days in my life. I keep a close eye on them. Holding them in my heart, my prayers, ready to help as needed.


Peripherally, I see and hear, with my physical and spiritual eyes and ears, the fear that buzzes through community. The fear drags spirits down in hertz, stifling the natural affinity to rise to higher levels of energy. Observing these lower levels of energies pulse through the energetic web of community, I pray for a rain storm of faith, drops pregnant with molecules pregnant with faith, to rain down and nourish the growth of our innate abilities to rise to higher energies, that we may lift each other up.


Divine light invited me into a service of using my privilege in good ways. Not only to pray and meditate fervently, but also to practice Divine Witnessing. For this service, I’m grateful to have found a global group of prayer warriors. “Divine witnessing,” says Garrett Lo Porto, “is the most powerful form of non-violence because it heals the very source of violence. It turns your enemies into friends, even when you thought they were deplorable and wrong. In a place where you see no light, you make your own.”

In my inner-standing, divine witnessing when standing in divine light, is the most powerful form of transmuting fear, where fear and it’s fruits can be turned into the beautiful fruits borne of faithful observing.

Today, the 11th day of the month, is an auspicious day per Dr. Masaru Emoto to call on our relative, nbi (water) to rain down drops infused with faith in every molecule, to heal and nourish our innate abilities to rise to higher energies, to break the bondages of fear and disempower the fruits of fear (anger, hate, greed, selfishness) and infuse us with the fruits of faith (compassion, grace, love, generosity).


Nbi is our first and best medicine. Nbi is our first and best teacher. Nbi is faith.

May we be Divine Witnesses of the transformation of our communities learning how to give more than we take, one Divine Light Holder after another.

Driver 8

“Driver 8, take a break, take a break Driver 8 we’ve been on this shift too long”.

We are in trying times. Understatement of the decade. Guilty. Depending on where you come from, fear may be your overarching emotion. You might be vegging out, watching television. You might be overeating or overspending, searching out things that you think will keep you safe if the world gets more crazy.

I’ve been spending a lot of my time getting my spiritual house in order. Funny thing about the universe – actually, it is an elegantly beautiful thing about the universe – when you set your intention in an authentic way, gears move, stairs move, and what you need shows up. Found a lot of people out there who are making things happen to help me on my path. Astrologers, reticent prophets, intuitives, healers…bringing me words and images to help me prepare and understand what’s next. Well, as much as is allowed and necessary.

I’ve also been spending a good deal of time praying, for all of us. To bring us up into the light. To help release us from our generational patterns that have wrought destruction and pain. So, I’m going to share some things with you that I hope have meaning and can help you situate yourself. Be thinking about the number 8, as you read. Be feeling your way into the energy of 8. Because, baby, it’s gonna be an experience.

So, first I’ll start with a statement, that some will understand. The veil between the worlds is thinning. Therefore, we have more space to reach out to our ancestors, for guidance and wisdom – through stories and art – so that we can avoid the same mistakes that have been made in the past.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

The number 8, it’s connection to Saturn, as the representation of Maat, the Goddess of Justice, the relation to 8 continents and as a symbol for infinity, is coming up for a lot of people. Some are aware. Some aren’t.

There’s a lot going on here. According to this astrologer’s interpretation of the planets in this time, we are coming in to some rough times. I won’t do her exposition any justice, so it’s better if you just go read her work. What struck me, as I read her blog, is that these trying times are felt all across humanity. The challenge knows no border or does it have any compunction to honor nationality.

The astrology points to an end in sight, a feeling I landed on during my meditation a couple of weeks ago. There is an end in sight. The question of how we will have changed after all this is still up for grabs, to some extent. I have faith in the brilliant spark of creation that exists in each body, whether well or ill. That genius, fired by Creator’s light, will light all of us. It’s a light, warm and bright, not shocking and cold, a light that causes our sleeping eyelids to flutter into consciousness, awareness. A light so warm that, rather than cursing the light, the soul begins to stir in joy, excited to come to consciousness with their best and highest self. Some will do that while inhabiting the body. Some will do that as they shed the body and move into the next reality.

For those who stay here, awake, in this body and on this plane – I suggest getting out more, safely (don’t be a vector or get yourself exposed to this virus). The earth calls your feet. The water calls your skin. The birds seek your ears. The trees wish for your hug, which will inform their cells as they go about creating another ring. The flowers seek your sense of smell, which is absolutely key in creating joy in your energetic sphere. All seek to be in collaboration with you to create joy, to radiate that joy out into the ethers.

Be. Be. Be.

Contemplate more on the number 8. Saturn and the number 8. Where might you find an opportunity to transmute the darkness and fear into something more joyful and righteous? 8, turned on it’s side, is the infinity symbol. 8 in the Thoth Tarot is the trump for Adjustment, Justice, the Goddess Maat. She holds the scales of justice and by her measure, the feather, weighs the heart. Are you light in heart? Are your deeds just? Have you cleansed yourself of the negative energy of your misdeeds? The number 8 can mean a balancing between our spiritual and material sides.

You might be sensing it – a lot of people are leaving this planet, very quickly. We are all now riding the wake of those waves of people leaving. We, in western society, have no means to honor or handle death properly. Very few people know what it means to prepare your death song, so that you die a good death. Very few communities keep the tradition of keening women alive and well. And here we are. Trying to navigate it, where the societal norm says to avoid death and it’s rituals.

I think it is no mistake that number 8 is coming up for folks. Infinity. The perpetual movement of changing forms, transmutation. Transmuting from a physical body in this world, to a different body (or not) somewhere else.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is serious business, being a witness during these times. Where so many souls are leaving. It’s staggering, it’s heartbreaking, and we who are left – who can hear, who can see – are called to do the work of managing the wake they leave behind. Reach out to your community – both in this realm and beyond. See what it is you are called to do. Maybe it’s nothing but to hold space in a quiet and rooted manner. That’s fine. Do that with all your heart.

We will get through this. It’s not going to be easy, but you are here on purpose. On. Purpose. I put a video together this morning, which I hope also helps.

Miigwech. Giizaagiin. Baamaapii.


Disspelling fear

I live a good portion of my life on the spiritual side. Woke this morning with a desire to access protective energies of some stone relatives to help keep negative energies from our home. After doing some research have decided to make some adornments for major entrances to our abode. Have some good crystals coming my way. Jet stone, fire agate, amethyst, smokey quartz are the ones I decided to invoke. 

Only recently have I started to feel alive. I have been drinking more water and actually dancing. Which has also involved some exercises with weights and medicine balls.

Those of us who are light workers and who have access to the spirit world must now be more anchored, lively, joyful. Respectfully, of course. Situational awareness is key. At the same time, don’t deprive yourself of the access you have to joy and never forget how you channel the goodness and light into these trying times.


Spend time with your plant relatives. Give thanks to the waters. Pray that the peace that passes understanding rests on the shoulders of your family, your friends, your neighbors and your companions. Breathe.

Breathe. Reach out to people who are struggling. Who are deeply fearful. Try to be a calm port in the storm for those you live near and with. Take good care of yourself, by breathing in the healing from your plant relatives, from the cleansing and healing properties of water.

Get yourself a stone. A branch. A shell. Hold it as an anchor.

Hang in there, guys. We will be stronger. We are seeing the facades and the lies fall to the ground. It’s very uncomfortable, but it’s very necessary. We have been waiting for this time. We are here on purpose.

I might do a podcast on this in the next day or two. I want to make sure I’m in the best space possible.

Miigwech. Baamaapii.

Help where you can

I’m fortunate enough to be able to telecommute and still earn an income. But I have friends and family members who do not have that privilege. So my husband and I are brainstorming ways we might be able to help when called on. A fundamental belief we hold is that an economy should not merely be an engine to drive wealth into a few hands. Instead, an economy should be a tool that helps to sustain and maintain those ideals and principles of a meaningful and good life. Consider what you can do to help others have a more graceful and easier life experience. It’s a great way to become a real human being.

I have personally taken a grand dislike to the idea of passive income as an economic engine. There have been too many instances of the drive for profits conflagrating the class divide, rather than building a bridge in the gap between wealth and poverty. We are seeing this played out in real time, right now, and I don’t believe it will be resolved by a call to ‘return to normal’. In my opinion, we are way past anything that will return us to ‘old normal’ – and we should see this as a good thing.

However, the only real way to do that in a good way, is to quit being in denial about how rigged our economic systems are designed, and have historically been designed, so that they push wealth into the hands of the hoarders. At the risk of sounding like an idealistic liberal, I do believe that being generous and kind in all scenarios is the only way to be a real human being. So many people withhold their generosity because of the fear of being taken advantage of and thereby being left with nothing.

However, traditional ways of building economic models, at least anecdotally for now, have shown us that the richest and most robust economies were based on giving away the wealth. (sidetone: It is my hope that I can be allowed to research this topic and lend my voice to the many who are calling for a return to indigenous wisdom) We have lived for too long in economies that exploit and degrade. We are not better for it.

I encourage you to think about what you can do to be a help during this time. Rather than giving in to the fear and the hype, understand that we are facing tremendous changes in society, and try to imagine ways to create better realities for all our communities.


Asema smoke

My dears…hear me when I tell you, the monsters are showing us how dark and calloused their hearts are.

Do not turn away from the sight of this. I implore you.

We must see ourselves in the nooks and crannies and the sinew of their hearts, and take responsibility for how we have collectively participated in the dehumanizing of our culture. We must SEE and OWN the greed, the callousness, the hardness….

You, whose hearts are enraged and broken by their dark and calcified hearts, are the ones who can lead us all to light

and witness
their darkness, 

pick it up to heal it, 

and then let it go.

Throw your prayers and some asema smoke on it, and watch their darkness be consumed by the light, watch their calcified hearts be transmuted by the smoke as it dissipates.

Let their hardness and lack of light darken your hearts.

Be strong. You are called to help the healing. You are here on purpose. 
Miigwech. Giizaagiin


Some days…

Some days I wake up with high anxiety. Other days, it’s a lower grade version. I wake with a feeling of stress, and the need to go right into prayers or mantras. Today is one of those days.

I feel like I’m snagged by a log in a stagnant pond, backwater to the flowing river. Part of me is grateful, because I can see how much rage is in that river. I can see how much debris is being moved by that river, and though I may be in a still, stagnant pool, I somehow feel safer, but still anxious.

The anxiety and the stagnation are contributing to the decay of time. My body, my spirit, my thought processes…lack light, brilliance, fire. I am in a lull. The bugs are biting and I’m just kind of resolved to their impact.

I think I need a break. A change in scenery. A reset. I know I can do this without leaving my home, but there is quite a bit of work involved, both physically and mentally, to prepare for making the most of the time. A ritual of some sort is in order.

My disconnection from social media is not complete yet, but the chains are breaking one by one. Old habits die hard. New habits must be nurtured.

Sovereignty: Reclaimed

The grays in my hair will no longer be covered up with henna. Time is what it is, and wisdom is hard to come by.  I am no longer interested in hiding who I am and what my life means in this time. Beyond those reasons, my scalp needs a rest.

What does this have to do with the reclamation of sovereignty? One of the main components of personal sovereignty is knowing oneself and taking responsibility for one’s role in the world. Not many people are conditioned to do this, nor do they have the courage for it. Going gray in this world takes courage, and every morning as I get ready for the work day I question the wisdom of letting my grays be, yet somehow manage to summon the personal courage to let them be.


And each day I nurture that courage, I reclaim a piece of my personal sovereignty.

The reclamation of personal sovereignty can be like a fire. A single ember, when held in a good way, can reignite the sovereignty each person holds. For too long, we have let media, advertisers, and legislators to slowly diminish our personal sovereignty. Well, for some of us, the reduction has been slow. For others of us, the reduction has been swift and inhumane.

By reclaiming our personal sovereignty, we reclaim the piece of ourselves that was granted to us by our Creator. We acknowledge that we are not ‘cogs in the machine’ and that we are here on purpose, for a reason, and in perfect time, even if it’s hard for us to know what reason, or how we fit into this time. Part of the confusion that so many of us feel is rooted in the fact that we have been conditioned to believe that our purpose is only equal to the purpose put forth in the media. We may feel lost, and we may anesthetize ourselves to soften the pain of feeling lost or out of time.

I have found that social media only makes that worse. Instead of building community, and creating space for diversity in our lives, the algorithms only push us into echo chambers of communities. We grow dull, lifeless, cynical and one-dimensional. This happens without us even realizing it.

I am taking back my personal sovereignty by removing myself as much as possible from social media. I will no longer allow information about me to be tracked, harvested, analyzed, compiled and used against me or people I love.

Because so much of my activism is tied to some platforms, I can’t quit them completely. But understanding how the platforms use likes, friends, and group membership, I can free myself, to some extent, by unfriending people. I break that tie. I put a glitch in the algorithm, at least for a little bit.

I suggest that the quickest way to kill that paradigm of abuse and control is to unfriend people (or leave social media altogether), physically get out of your comfort zone and into your community to meet people. Build bonds. Create space for mutual understanding and respect. Hug the people you care about, in real time and in real life. Reclaim your personal sovereignty, in a good way. Find the courage to be who you are, who you were created to be.

With great respect – and in the belief that you are amazing, See you in the real world.


The Peace Palace

For months, I have tried to puzzle out in my spirit how it is that people in power are so intransigent about the dangers of capitalism to life on this planet. Whether it’s begging a city council to be more humane in the way they deal with houseless people, or putting facts in front of lawmakers about the destruction of extracting and burning fossil fuels, the intransigence and indifference that I have personally experienced is, to say the least, despairing.

For the second time this year, I had the privilege of visiting the Peace Palace in Den Haag (The Hague) The Netherlands. All my life, I have dreamed of being in this space. It was a tiny little dream, because I never thought I would be able to actually achieve it. The universe works in very intentional ways, when your spirit is at the helm, I have found. This second visit was very special for me because I was able to tour the facilities with my husband. A very special moment that I will always treasure.


The Peace Palace was created as a result of one person’s dream to put an end to endless wars. Czar Nicholas saw what the ravages of war and colonialism were doing to his people and to his lands, and in 1899, convened the first Peace conference. 14 years later, after much work and collaboration with people who also sought to end the cycle of war, the Peace Palace was opened. You can read about the history here. While I was inspired by the work that is done there, I was also puzzled how we have a history of over 100 years of court cases heard in these halls yet we still are nowhere closer to fulfilling the dream of living in peace, collaboratively, securely and harmoniously. The decisions of the Permanent Court of Arbitration and the International Court of Justice are binding, but there is little to no enforcement mechanism of the decisions. (This will be another topic in the future, where I discuss the meaning of a person’s honor and their commitment to their word.)

A couple of days ago, I wrote about the power of positive thought and intention. I do still believe that this is the only way to move forward. But, in order for that to manifest in its fullness, we have to come to terms with what we are up against. I wrote about the darkness that infiltrates the halls and hearts of ‘power’. I wrote about how light is the only way to beat the darkness back. It’s more than darkness, though. Their intransigence is the combination of a few realities, I believe.

The majority of the people who we assume to hold power aren’t stupid. They aren’t ignorant. They are, to my mind, extremely greedy, but most of them aren’t fully callous. To see their intransigence, knowing that they are intelligent and still somewhat human is baffling and deflating. How can this be? How can we celebrate their accomplishments when we know that, on balance, they have caused more harm than good? What drives them?

There is a tool that has been used in public policy for some time now: game theory. This tool allows policy makers to ‘game out’ the different scenarios associated to different public policy decisions. In theory, it’s a good idea. It’s a way to ensure that all aspects of a decision have been analyzed and taken into account. Game theory has a long history and many components – and I’m not smart enough to know which component is being used in any given circumstance. However, I am most assured that this is the underlying model that every policy analyst uses to inform policy makers.

So, if game theory is the tool being used to make decisions, why do we continue to see horrible policies enacted by people who are not stupid, nor are they fully callous? Why do we see policies enacted that leave so many people out in the cold, literally? Or left to die of toxic exposure? Why do we continually see the environment sacrificed? If I use my intuition, and choose to not be jaded in my thought processes, my guess would be that the game theory decision making process is 1. weighted heavily toward the “payoff” element, which may or may not be informed by economic outcomes and 2. some of the games have led decision makers to believe that there is an ‘end’ coming and the best they can do is prepare a small subset of the population for this ‘end’ and the rest are collateral damage.

I am sorry to say that I cannot, at this time, offer any qualitative or quantitative data on this topic. Perhaps in the future, I will be able to do so. What I can say is that this is anecdotal speculation is based in my personal experience and the experiences of my community cohort. Therefore, I believe that, as a theory, it has enough substance to inform how we can use light to change the path that we are on.

The Peace Palace is the result of many people, intelligent, caring and flawed, coming together to say that there is a better way – and here is the space where we can find that better way together. The time has come for us to ensure that the intention and the light associated to that place is no longer cloaked in darkness or subjected to the negative aspects of game theory. We can find a way to a better way of being. But we must understand the elements of the game being played.

Let’s put an end to the practice of allowing our environment and our neighbors being treated as collateral damage in game theory dominated by capitalism.